Quit complaining and start being a parent

By Guru Hellen 2 years ago. Tagged under Parenting, Wisdom, How to raise children, Being a parent, Mentor, Caretaker, Children, Communication.

The Oxford and Webster dictionaries define ‘Parent’ as the Father or Mother. They further explain the parent by the roles they take: caretaker, protector of children, lover of children, rear, provider, mentor, guide etc.

This means that parents are called to be CARETAKERS, which means to keep a constant eye on the children, while at the same time providing for their many needs (Not wants). However, most parents have no clue what their role is and cannot distinguish their roles from the day-care’s role, the school’s role, the club’s role’ the religious organisations’ role and the society’s role. They are so confused that all they result to is constant annoying complaining feats coupled with ‘blameosis’.

This is my take on this annoying habit; Your children are your responsibility; whether they drive you broke or up the wall or even down the drain nuts. The society did not ask you to be a parent, nobody outside your family coerced you to be a parent. Becoming a parent was primarily your own conscious choice.

You owe no one explanation for the way your children behave or turn out; if they behave like angels, monkeys or bullies or rogues, they are yours (and most probably you have taught them that behaviour). They are an extension of you, only younger.

The society and all other congregations only help to expound on the foundation you have given your children. So be very careful with the foundations you deliver to your little ones, and the congregations you take them to.

Loving your children is not an option; It is a commandment. This has been a very controversial point for a long time, especially when people bring their ‘culture’ dictates. There is no culture that promotes hating or abusing children; Not even one. Discipline should not be abuse; it should be reasonable coupled with counselling. If you find it hard to express love to your children, please do not use items such as gifts and money as the tool of love. This sends the wrong message to the children and they become entitled little kids who will become entitled gold diggers or nagging moochers.

Choose your friends and your children’s friends wisely. They reflect your values more than anything else. Your children will most likely pick friends like yours, smoke like you or your friends, use drugs like you or your friends do or succeed in their life ventures just like you do.

Whatever you confess to your children, whether as an insult or as an angry utterance takes root deep in their hearts and will most probably be revealed later in life. Avoid words like ‘you fool’ ‘good for nothing’ ‘messy’ ‘lazy’ ‘couch potato’ ‘ugly’ ‘hypocrite’. Such words have such strong demeaning effect that they sink so deep inside, that they will take years, if not a lifetime to uproot. They actually end up being curses, which you may not have intended to put on them.

Nobody said being a parent is going to be easy It never will be. It is a slow, time consuming, life draining, emotional, physically demanding, spiritually demanding and everything in between. It changes a single person into this dynamo of activities with coordinates and confusion mixed up.

The society of today is the direct result of yester years parenting. How do you want tomorrow’s society to look like, especially when you are in it as a senior citizen?

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