Can you still be friends with the opposite sex after marriage?
If God wanted us not to keep in touch with the opposite sex after marriage, He would have created a separate world for married couples. But since that is not the case we must learn to live together irrespective of our marital status. We have to interact in different activities, roles and professions. Marriage should not interfere with your professional interaction and business interactions. It is next to impossible to find a job that is entirely unisex in terms of employees. If anything it should boost the couples confidence when it comes to interactions with people of the opposite sex.
We need to go out and hang out with our girlfriends and our husbands need some sanity from the chatters of the wife and children –they need to switch gears and so do women. Men/husbands need to keep their ego pumped by their fellow men. Women need to be lifted, built and encouraged by fellow sisters.
However, when it comes to associating with the opposite sex, there will be some limits; flirting will be cut to the minimum possible – this applies to both the married couple and vice versa. The couple should avoid any encouragements to flirt in the same way as singles do. This is a sign of commitment to the spouse and a the same time demanding the respect and treatment that comes with the new status.
If a spouse cannot control the flirts that are going on around him/her, the best way is to not participate in the exchanges, maybe between colleagues or other single friends. It is important to remind your friends and colleagues that you have graduated to another level of flirting and sex talk: with your spouse exclusively; that you now get or give a vvip treatment from one lover, your spouse.
Note: This does not mean that you stop talking to the opposite sex, working with them or even teaming up for business purposes; Your integrity will dictate the extend to which you can associate with the opposite sex. Again it is important to teach your spouse to trust you even in the company of other members of the opposite sex. How do you do that? By being honest with your spouse all the time. Half truths create a fertile ground for distrust.
If you are the suspicious spouse who double checks on your mates opposite sex friends, I would highly advise you to practise self restraint, self discipline and ask yourself why you do not trust your spouse: Is it because of your past relationships, your scars that have not healed, your insecurity issues or has your spouse hinted in one way or the other that he/she is not trustworthy?
In any of the above there is urgent need to address the root cause of mistrust/distrust, because marriage is a long journey and you cannot continue doubting and second guessing your spouse. It is not a safe habit for either of you.
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