During my downtime, I enjoy watching cartoons, especially the classic ones. I am an avid fan of the loony toons, Tom and Jerry, the Flintstones, the Jetsons, Animaniacs and the ever so hilarious Scooby-Doo.
When these animated characters come across a new gadget, such as a speed mobile or jet, they never go through the user's manual but instead look for buttons to press or levers to pull. There is always that one button usually red in colour, that is always accompanied by a warning "Do not Press" As crazy as these characters are, they always start with that button, which sends the vehicle into a blistering speed and out of control. They move so fast they can barely shut their mouths or eyes. At this point they usually have two options: crush the vehicle, or look for the reset button and press it immediately.
Our Lives are so much like in these cartoon programs, and so are our relationships. We often press the speed button without having read the user's manual. We rush into marriages, without getting to know the mate, his or her personality type, your compatibility or incompatibility, future plans etc. We embark on a roller coaster of events that we are not prepared to deal with. Sometimes we are even overwhelmed by the repercussions that we contemplate giving up or giving in. in most instances the "Red Button". The speed button makes everything look blurred and sometimes nauseatingly hazy. This leads to conflicts in relationships such as denial, fights, abuse, unfaithfulness, regret, blame game about who did what and why, etc
The modern fast rat-race lifestyles also throw in some tools in the works and this creates more havoc. The vehicle spins out of control to a risky Vitesse. The sensible thing to do at this juncture is to find and press the reset button. Every relationship needs to have one, and it brings the vehicle to a complete halt. This gives the couple a much-needed break, to stop, think and refocus. It gives the couple time to read their manual or to re-edit it so that it can reflect their newa lifestyle. It helps the couple to look back and reassess the damage caused during the speeding moments. They can then decide on how to repair the damage as well as ste up mitigation procedures to avoid future damage.
Communication is an important element in the reset process. Couples should talk about their challenges in earnest. They should at the possible causes of their problems and find ways to solve them; this is the manual development process. Debugging: or simply put removing conflict triggers is also another stage of the reset process. This involves quitting bad habits that jeopardize your relationship, quitting the abuse, quitting the blame game and replace these bad habits with good ones: such as spending more time with your spouse, rekindling the dying flames and renewing your commitment to each other.
So does your relationship need a reset button in the new year? How do you plan to go about resetting it?